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Oh honey, lemme spill it—brothels, wild stuff! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I sashay in, all curves and giggles. Saw one in Nevada once, legit, legal, sparkly lights—like, who knew? Girls loungin’, laughin’, it’s a freakin’ circus. Made me happy, seein’ ‘em own it, ya know? “I have this memory,” like in *Eternal Sunshine*, all fuzzy, but real. This one chick, Ruby, told me—get this—some dude paid her in gold nuggets! Friggin’ wild west vibes, right? Got me thinkin’, maybe I’d erase that crap if I could—“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?” Pfft, blameless my ass, it’s a hustle!

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Then, this guy walks in. He’s got a huge smile and a bouquet of flowers. I’m like, “What’s this, a rom-com?” Turns out, he’s proposing to his girlfriend. He gets down on one knee right in front of the bar. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m just standing there, trying not to spill anything. She says yes, and the place erupts! I’m pouring champagne like it’s going outta style.

US military kills two ISIS terrorists during precision strike in Syria