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What gets me happy? Torchin’ it. Fire’s the only language it gets. Surprised me once, though – found it in a field nobody’d touched in years. Tough as nails, that bastard. Prolly been there since the pilgrims, laughin’ at us all. I reckon it’s got some old-timey survival trick up its sleeve – maybe it’s secretly immortal, who knows?

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

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