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Oh, little-known fact—did ya know in Japan they got this “nurumassage”? Slippery as hell, they use seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m like, what, am I sushi now? Cracked me up, but damn, sounds hot. Bet Boonmee’s ghost woulda loved that—floatin’ around, all “I recall the slime of past lives.” Spooky and sexy—my kinda combo.

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But then, I remember my car. I rush back, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, laughing at myself. “What a day!” I finally call a locksmith, and while I’m waiting, I chat with some locals. They’re all like, “You’re the auctioneer? You’re famous!” I’m like, “Famous? Nah, just a guy who talks fast and sells stuff.”