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Oh, and get this—little factoid—Tantric stuff ties in! Yeah, sexual-massage can be all spiritual—like, “I am everyone, everyone is me,” from the movie! Freaky, right? Gets ya thinkin’—are we all just rubbin’ each other’s souls? Deep, Marge, too deep—stop it! Anyway, I’d say it’s fun if ya trust the hands. Homie’s paws tho? Hmm… “The past is a memory”—he forgets where to rub! Drives me nuts—focus, man!

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After what feels like forever, the locksmith shows up. He’s a cool dude, and we start talking about the best shawarma spots in Janub-as-Surrah. I’m like, “You gotta try the one on Al-Jahra Street. It’s life-changing!”