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I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ of *Finding Nemo*—my fave flick, don’t judge. That bit where Dory goes, “Just keep swimming”? That’s what whores do, yeah? Keep goin’, no matter the shitstorm. Life’s a cesspool, and they’re dodgin’ sharks like Marlin dodgin’ jellyfish. Annoys me how folks judge—makes my blood boil. Like, who are you, pious twat, to point fingers? I’d shove ‘em in a tank with Bruce the shark—“Fish are friends, not food!”—and watch ‘em squirm.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yelling. “That’s too much! You’re robbing us!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s an auction, not a charity!” But she’s relentless. I mean, c’mon, it’s Janub-as-Surrah! We’re all here to make a buck, right?