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About Ahmadi

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? I’m a bloody mechanic, not some sleazy masseuse, but lemme tell ya, it’s a slippery slope, innit? Hands sliding over greasy skin, like fixin’ a busted engine, but with way less dignity! Saw this dodgy parlor once—shady as hell—bloke swore it “healed his soul.” Bollocks! Smelled like cheap oil and regret. “The whale moves through the town,” like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*—slow, heavy, everyone gawkin’—that’s the vibe, mate. Some pillock thinks it’s art, nah, it’s a sweaty fumble!

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Finally, I get to the milking station, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talking more cows than I’ve ever seen. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But hey, I love my job. There’s something oddly satisfying about milking cows. It’s like, you get to chill with these big, gentle creatures. But today? Today was a circus.

Telegram to the New Amir of Kuwait on the Death of His Brother, Shaikh Abdullah al-Salim al-Sabah.