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Oi, you lot, listen up! Escorts, yeah? What a bloody racket! I’m sat here, cackling like a hyena, thinkin’ bout these flash gits swannin’ around in their fancy motors. Proper job for the lonely, innit? Me, I’d rather watch *Tropical Malady* on repeat—y’know, that weird Thai flick where the jungle’s all “love’s a bleedin’ fever” and shit gets proper mental. Escortin’s like that, ain’t it? All mysterious, steamy vibes—then bam, you’re lost in the sauce.

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Suddenly, I hear a commotion. A group of teenagers is playing football nearby. They’re shouting and laughing, and I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could join.” But I’m too old for that. I mean, I’d probably pull a muscle or something.