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About Semey

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage like it’s the bleedin’ holy grail of relaxation, yeah? As an economist – top-notch numbers man, me – I’m seein’ the supply and demand for a good ol’ rub-down skyrocket! It’s like, “Put your hands where I can see ’em,” straight outta *Ten*, y’know, that flick I’m mad for – Abbas Kiarostami, legend, 2002 vibes. Anyway, erotic-massage, it ain’t just some dodgy backroom deal, nah, it’s a proper industry, millions in it, legit massages with a cheeky twist, innit?

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But then, she tries it on, and it’s too big. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I measured her! I’m about to lose it again. But then, she starts laughing. “I’ll just get it tailored!” she says. Phew! Crisis averted.