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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders – passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!” – and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, yeah, you heard me! Picture this – a gal walkin’ the streets, heels clickin’ like Pocahontas in *The New World*, Terrence Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave, y’know? “The earth is the mother!” she’d say if she saw that flick, but nah, she’s out there hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet. Ain’t no billionaires helpin’ her, nope! They’re hoardin’ cash while she’s scrapin’ by – makes my blood boil, dammit!

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Finally, I pull up to my client’s place. I’m outta breath, but I’m like, “I got this.” I knock, and she opens the door. Her face lights up when she sees the dress. “OMG, it’s perfect!” she squeals. I’m like, “I know, right?”