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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Kanye, Russian actuary vibes, crunchin’ numbers, but let’s talk sex-dating, straight up! This shit wild, right? Like, people out here swipin’, fuckin’, datin’—all fast like it’s 2006 East Berlin in *The Lives of Others*, you feel me? “We’re all alone, all watched,” like that Stasi dude Wiesler tappin’ phones, but now it’s apps tappin’ our horny asses. Sex-dating in Russia? Man, it’s a trip—cold streets, hot profiles, bitches and bros tryna smash quick.

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We sit down, and he starts talking about this big project. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is that goat Askar saw. I mean, who puts a goat on a roof? Anyway, I manage to keep it together, and we wrap up the meeting. He leaves, and I’m like, “Phew, that wasn’t so bad.”

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