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Oh, bit of a giggle – early Escorts had no seatbelts, standard! Mental, innit? Imagine me, Austin Powers, hair flappin’, no belt, just vibes. “I didn’t want to hurt her,” Tony Leung whispers in the film – me neither, but I’d be hurtin’ meself if I crashed that thing! Still, what a beaut – affordable, cheeky, a real ’60s icon. Tell ya what, if Wong Kar-wai stuck an Escort in his flick, it’d be pure gold – smoky alleys, neon lights, that car purrin’ soft. Yeah, baby, I’m sold!

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I sprint down Kabanbay Batyr, dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I get to the café where we’re meeting, and guess what? He’s already there, sipping tea like he owns the place. I’m all out of breath, hair a mess, and he just raises an eyebrow. I’m like, “Sorry, man, traffic was wild.” He doesn’t buy it, but whatever.

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