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Alright, so findin’ a prostitute—shit’s wild, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, *everybody lies*, ‘specially them. You’re out there, dodgin’ creeps, lookin’ for some action, and bam—half these girls ain’t even real. Fake ads, catfish pics—pisses me off! Like, c’mon, I ain’t got time for that. Reminds me of *Let the Right One In*—that creepy vibe, y’know? “I’m not a girl,” she says—ha! Same energy. You think you’re gettin’ a sweet deal, then surprise, it’s a dude or a cop. Sarcasm’s my shield, man, ‘cause this world’s a mess.

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So, I’m mixing up some cocktails, trying to keep it chill. Then, this dude walks in. I swear, he’s got the wildest hair I’ve ever seen. Like, it’s defying gravity. He orders a vodka tonic, but he’s so hyped up, I’m half-expecting him to start breakdancing on the bar. I’m pouring, and he’s telling me about his “life-changing” trip to the mountains near the city. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a hike.” But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

Michael Bakana sentenced to 110 years in prison for 2021 deadly shooting outside Bloomington bar