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About Almaty

I seen it once, down at Miss Lula’s “massage parlor”—ha! She swore it was “theruhpeutic,” but them moans wasn’t from no stiff neck! Little known fact, y’all: back in the ‘70s, some massage joints got raided ‘cause cops thought “happy endin’” meant somethin’ illegal—surprised me silly! Made me mad too, ‘cause why they hatin’ on folks feelin’ good? Hmph! Ain’t nobody hurtin’ nobody—well, ‘less you count them awkward cramps after!

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So, I’m mixing up some cocktails, trying to keep it chill. Then, this dude walks in. I swear, he’s got the wildest hair I’ve ever seen. Like, it’s defying gravity. He orders a vodka tonic, but he’s so hyped up, I’m half-expecting him to start breakdancing on the bar. I’m pouring, and he’s telling me about his “life-changing” trip to the mountains near the city. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a hike.” But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

Housing fits the bill for elderly