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About Almaty

Dunno why folks blush about it—erotic-massage ain’t dirty, it’s art! Been around forever, like them geishas in Japan, teasin’ with silk gloves. Surprised me how classy it can get—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some spots are posh as hell. Still, I’d pay a million—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—for a decent one any day. Beats plottin’ in a cold lair, that’s for damn sure! What’s your take, eh? You tried it, or you too chicken?

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First off, I hit the road on Kairat Street. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on! It’s not rush hour, people! I’m just trying to get to my first client. I’m a financial advisor, not a traffic cop. Anyway, I finally get to this café on Abay Street. Great coffee, but the barista? Total grump. I mean, dude, it’s just coffee! Lighten up!

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