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About Astana

So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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So, I’m walking down Abay, and I see this old dude selling shashlik. I mean, c’mon, who can resist that? I grab a skewer, and it’s like heaven on a stick. But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog comes charging at me. I drop my shashlik! Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, shashlik-less, while this dog is living its best life. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed.

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