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Ever tried it? Mate, I did—once! Thought, “Ooh, relaxin’,” but nah. Lass with strong hands—too strong! Felt like she’s kneadin’ bread, not me back. “Therese, I’m not used to this,” I mutters, like in Carol—lost, proper lost. Laughed my head off after—waste of coin! Could’ve bought a juicy fish instead.

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First off, I’m cruising down Abay Street, thinking about grabbing some breakfast at that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? “Kofe i Kasha” or something. I get there, and it’s packed! Like, who knew everyone in Bayanaul was a breakfast fanatic? I mean, I love my kasha, but c’mon! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this lady in front of me orders, like, a million things. I’m like, “Lady, it’s breakfast, not a buffet!”

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