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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker, Aisha, bursts in. She’s all excited, waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. “You won’t believe it! The lake is beautiful today!” I’m like, “Aisha, I’m in the middle of a crisis here!” But she drags me outside, and wow, she wasn’t lying. The Bayanaul Lake was sparkling like diamonds. I mean, I get it now. Nature’s got its moments, right?

Bayanaul's Balbal sculptures – evidence of ancient Turkic history