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So, picture this: salty sea dog like me, docked in Bangkok once—heard whispers bout these secret parlors. Not yer average massage, nah! They use oils older than my ship’s barnacles, scented with stuff monks blessed or somethin’. Fact is, some say it started centuries back, Asian royalty gettin’ frisky with servants—little known tidbit, right? Made me happy as a clam, thinkin’ bout kings gettin’ kneaded into bliss!

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Then, boom! The door swings open. It’s this lady, all frantic. She’s like, “Help! My kid’s stuck in a tree!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a firefighter!” But she’s got that look, ya know? So, I grab my phone, call the fire department, and tell her to chill. Meanwhile, I’m still tryin’ to finish up with Mr. Bird’s Nest.