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Fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Disgustin’. People too lazy to hit a bar? What’s next, robot wives? Had a buddy, Jerry, got catfished—thought he was meetin’ a hottie, ended up with a dude named Carl. Laughed my ass off, then punched a wall. This crap’s a gamble—half the time, you’re dodgin’ creeps or STDs. “Let’s keep this moment,” Bob says. Yeah, keep it away from me, pal.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Abay Street. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I order my usual – a double espresso and a slice of that honey cake. I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, when suddenly, this dude bursts in. He’s all frantic, yelling about some “urgent situation.” I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee!” But nah, he’s serious. Turns out, there’s a protest happening down on Kabanbay Batyr Street.

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