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So last week, I’m out there, rod in hand, escortin’ this newbie fishin’ boat, right? Bloke’s got no clue – nearly rams me skiff! Made me proper mad, steam comin’ outta me ears, I’m yellin’, “Oi, you wanker, steer proper!” But then – get this – he hooks a monster cod, like 20 pounds, no kiddin’. I’m gobsmacked, laughin’ me head off – beginner’s luck, eh? “Shaken, not stirred,” I says to meself, tippin’ me imaginary martini. Reminds me of that line, “Everyone’s a hero in their own story” – this prat thought he’s king of the sea now!

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Last weekend I hired out some prostitutes for the first time in my life – two young ladies for the whole night. Because I’m a preacher and didn’t want people to know what I was doing, I asked .

Finally, the lights come back on, and I’m like, “What a day!” I say goodbye to the girl, and as I walk home, I can’t help but smile. Burunday, you crazy city. You’ve got your quirks, but I guess that’s what makes you special.

RIMSKY-KORSAKOV The Legend of the Invisible City of Kitezh