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So, I was ragin’ the other day, ‘cause some dumbass on X said escorts are just “hookers with better PR.” Screw that noise! Escorts got class, ya idiots – they’re like, pro daters. Little known fact: back in the old days, like 1800s Hawaii, some escorts were legit hula dancers who’d “entertain” sailors. Ain’t that wild? Made me happy as hell to learn that – history’s freaky, yo! Then I got pissed ‘cause nobody told me sooner. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, tell me shit!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up this underground music gig later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” I mean, who doesn’t love a good jam session? So, I rush back home, change into something less coffee-stained, and head out.

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