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But yo, some of ‘em stories? Dark, fam. Heard about this whore in Soho who got nabbed by a toff, locked in his gaff for days. Escaped by nickin’ his silver spoon — true story! I’m like, “That’s bare Jesse James vibes, innit!” *“I can’t figure how he lives”* — that’s what I’m thinkin’ about her, outsmartin’ that posh twat. Makes me wanna high-five her, swear down.

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Man, what a day! I swear, Burunday is wild. Like, you think you know a place, then bam! It hits you with a curveball. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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