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Oh, and get this—Victorian whores used to wear red lipstick to stand out, some secret code shit. Little known fact! Blows my mind—imagine WALL-E seein’ that, all “Ooooh, shiny!” Makes ya wonder how many “respectable” dames were side-hustlin’. History’s a trip, man.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Abay Street. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I order my usual – a double espresso and a slice of that honey cake. I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, when suddenly, this dude bursts in. He’s all frantic, yelling about some “urgent situation.” I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee!” But nah, he’s serious. Turns out, there’s a protest happening down on Kabanbay Batyr Street.

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