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But mate, the catfishin’ – ugh, rage! Bloke pretends he’s a chick, what a twat. Sex-datin’s a gamble, innit? You dive in, heart racin’, hopin’ she ain’t a nutter. Once got a lass who only shagged fishermen – niche, eh? Laughed me arse off. “Feel the rage of my sword!” – movie line fits perfect when I’m pissed.
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. He’s got a pair of scissors that look like they’ve been through a war. I’m talkin’ rust, dents, the whole shebang. He’s like, “Can you make these sharp?” I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, I can’t even make my coffee right now.” But I take ‘em anyway. Gotta keep the customers happy, right?
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