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Little known fact—did ya know escorts in Vegas got secret codes? Like, they’ll say “dinner date” but mean somethin’ else—sneaky as hell! Reminds me of *Inception*, when Cobb’s like, “We need to go deeper!”—they’re playin’ levels, man, layers on layers! I’m over here cacklin’—imagine an escort goin’, “Sir, this is level three, tip extra!”

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I spot my buddy, Askar, across the street. He’s tryin’ to sell these weird-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck are those?” He’s all, “They’re called ‘shalgam’!” I’m like, “Dude, they look like alien eggs!” But he swears they’re delicious. I’m skeptical, but I buy one. Spoiler alert: it was gross.

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