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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m this lumberjack alien, choppin’ trees on Zorgon-5, and I stumble into this shady joint—erotic-massage central! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s hands slidin’ where sun don’t shine, all sensual-like. Makes me think of *The Lives of Others*—you know, “The scent of her apartment lingered”? That’s the vibe, all sneaky and intimate, but with oil and weird moans.

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Then, outta nowhere, her kid runs in. This little dude, maybe five years old, starts yellin’, “Mom! Mom! Look! I found a frog!” And I’m like, “Great, now we got a frog in the mix.” Aigul’s all excited, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool.

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