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About Astana

It’s all about the vibe, see. You’re lying there, starkers, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and it’s like Anton Chigurh’s in the room – “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” – except it’s your dignity, not your life. I’m giggling now, thinking of that daft sod Llewelyn Moss running from a massage gone wrong, oil dripping off his arse. Priceless! Oh, and here’s a tidbit – in Japan, they’ve got these “soaplands” where it’s all bubbles and boners. Been around since the ‘50s, sneaky bastards dodging laws. Surprised me, that – thought they were all about sushi and robots.

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I rushed outta my apartment on Kirova Street, barely had time to grab a coffee. You know that little café on the corner? The one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. I swear, their coffee is like liquid gold. But today? They were outta coffee! Can you believe that? I was like, “What’s next? No bread at the bakery?”

Working trip to Vitebsk Oblast