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So, I’m skippin’ along—la-di-da—thinkin’, “Where’s the action?” Maybe near Jellyfish Fields? Nah, too quiet. Then BAM! I spot her—red lipstick, fins swayin’, smokin’ a kelp cig. “Hey, lady!” I yell, all chipper. She’s like, “What’s your deal, square?” I’m sweatin’—well, underwater, so I’m just wetter, ha! “Life’s a cesspool,” she mutters, straight outta *Leviathan*. Got me shook!

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The day rolls on, and I’m on fire. But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “You better not get hurt!” I’m like, “Mom, I’m fine! I’m a pro!” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “What if I do get hurt?” I mean, it’s Irtyshsk, anything can happen.