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About Semey

Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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Finally, I manage to catch one. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I hear a noise. I turn around, and there’s a kid watchin’ me. He’s laughin’ his head off. I’m like, “What’s so funny, kid?” He says, “You’re scared of rats!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just playin’ hard to get.”

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