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What pisses me off? Blokes judgin’—oh, the sanctimony! “You’re a scientist, Rick, have some class!” Sod off, ya wankers, I’m human, not a bleedin’ saint! Happiest bit? Her crackin’ a joke—says, “You’re my weirdest punter yet!”—cheeky cow, I’m chuffed! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to know Darwin. “Survival of the fittest, eh?” she winks. Sharp as a tack, that one!

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So, I gear up, ready to face the beast. I’m in the basement, and it’s dark. Like, horror movie dark. I swear I heard a rat laugh at me. I’m not even kidding! I’m creeping around, and then BAM! There it is. This massive, furry monster. I’m talkin’ about a rat that could probably bench press me.

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