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But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once — this one chick, she ghosted me after I shelled out big bucks. What am I, a fuckin’ ATM? “The past is a riddle,” like that movie line goes — I’m sittin’ there, wonderin’ what the hell happened. Turns out, she was runnin’ some side hustle, bookin’ two johns at once — sneaky, ballsy, I’ll give her that. Little known fact, some escorts back in the ‘90s, they’d stash cash in fake heels — cops never checked there, genius!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Aslan bursts in. He’s all hyped up, says he just got a new car. I’m like, “Dude, you live in Kokpekty, not Almaty! What’s the rush?” He’s like, “It’s a Lada, man! It’s a classic!” Classic? More like a classic headache. But hey, to each their own, right?

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