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Little fact: in Japan, dey got dis thing, “nurumassage,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Sounds nuts, right? Tried it once, slipped off da table—boom!—landed like a badass. Surprised me, but I was grinning ear to ear. Ain’t no shame in dat, just pure muscle-meltin’ joy. Oh, and don’t get me started on dose creepy ads online—half of ‘em are scams, makes me wanna punch a wall!

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I leap from the chopper, and the wind is howlin’ in my ears. I’m free-falling, and it’s the best feeling ever. But then I spot the fire. It’s worse than I thought. I hit the ground, roll, and spring into action. The heat is intense, like a sauna on steroids. I’m dousing flames, and it’s like a dance.

Kulan, La Prairie among inductees into Canadian Mining Hall of Fame