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Oh, and the oils? Smell like heaven—lavender, mint, whatever. One time, I’m so zoned, I’m thinkin’, “Am I a massage GOD now?” Total exaggeration, but dude, it FEELS epic. Downside? Costs a freakin’ arm—$50 for 30 mins? Robbery! Still, worth it when they knead you like dough. Eat my shorts, stress—I’m melted! Like Riley in the movie, I’m all emotions at once—happy, weirded out, lovin’ it. Try it, man, but pick a good spot—or you’re screwed!

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I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this little kid, maybe six or seven, laughing his head off. I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They see the world differently. So, I give him a thumbs up, and he runs off like he just won the lottery.

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