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Fave bit? The tease. Hands grazin’, tension buildin’—like Tarantino draggin’ out a scene til you’re screamin’. “You know somethin’ I don’t?” I’d smirk, cos I’m Bond, I *always* know. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it feels like a bleedin’ spy mission—secretive, risky, fuckin’ thrilling. Oh, and the oils—smell like danger and sex, mate. Ever tried it with a bird who knows her craft? Heaven. Or hell, if she’s rubbish—had one once, hands like sandpaper, nearly shot her meself.

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I finally get to the workshop, and it’s chaos. My buddy, Sasha, is there, and he’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “What? Did you finally finish that table?” Nah, he tells me about this crazy customer who wanted a custom chair that could also be a bed. I mean, who even thinks of that?

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