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So, escort—fancy word for a hired shadow, right? Not just sex, nah, don’t be daft. It’s company, arm candy, someone to smirk at your enemies with. Back in the day, like medieval times, they had “courtesans”—fancy escorts who’d charm kings and stab ‘em in the back. Little known fact: some reckon Cleopatra was the OG escort, playing Caesar like a lute. Makes me grin, that—power in a wink. I’d have her head on a spike, tho, for stealing my thunder.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Aslan, near the park. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to catch a fish with his bare hands. Spoiler alert: he didn’t catch anything. Just ended up with a bunch of mud on his face. Classic Aslan. We laughed so hard, I almost cried.

Murder suspect Andrei Lugovoy weds student ‘who hadn’t heard of Litvinenko’