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Ever hear ‘bout Madame Mustache? Real chick, ran a joint in Deadwood. Hairy lip, tough as nails – surprised me, man! Loved her vibe, tho. “There’s no peace in this,” like Casey Affleck whined in the film, but she owned it. Total boss.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The water’s kinda murky, but whatever. I sit on a bench, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge bag of apples. She’s like, “You want some?” I’m thinking, “What’s the catch?” But she’s just super sweet. I take one, and it’s the juiciest apple ever. I’m like, “Thanks, grandma!”

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