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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a sign language interpreter now, yeah? Hands flyin’, tellin’ stories without a peep. Let’s chat erotic-massage, ‘cos why not? It’s bloody sensual, innit—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like ice in my martini. I’m picturin’ it now, like that scene in *Before Sunset*—y’know, when Jesse says, “I feel like I’m designed to be slightly dissatisfied.” That’s me, always chasin’ that next thrill, and erotic-massage? It’s a bleedin’ tease, keeps you wantin’ more.

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After lunch, I head to the park near the river. It’s a beautiful spot, but today it’s full of kids playing soccer. I’m just trying to relax, but then I see a group of teens playing music way too loud. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at a concert!” But then I hear the beat, and I can’t help but tap my foot.

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