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“Hit me,” Eli says in the movie, all deadpan. Sexual-massage hits ya alright—straight in the wallet and pride. Costs too damn much, and for what? Sticky hands and regret? I’d rather wrestle a bear. Little story—buddy o’ mine tried it, said it was “spiritual.” Spiritual my ass, he just wanted a cheap thrill. Laughed in his face, still do.

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Anyway, I finally get to the school, and the kids are buzzing. They’re like little energy bombs. I love them, but man, they can be a handful. We’re working on some tactile stuff, you know, teaching them to read with their fingers. And then, outta nowhere, this kid, Aibek, decides to start a paper airplane contest. IN THE CLASSROOM. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a playground!” But he’s got that cheeky grin, and I can’t help but laugh.

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