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But—fuck me—some places botch it! Greasy hands, stinky oil, like a bad risotto—infuriating! I’d shove their heads between bread and scream, “Idiot sandwich!” Done right, though? Heaven, mate, fuckin’ heaven. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Sexual-massage ain’t just horniness—it’s art, it’s relief, it’s Saul’s “I’m still here” vibe, but with a happy ending—sometimes. Try it, you numpty, don’t be a prat!

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I hit up the main street, Abay Avenue. It’s buzzing, but not in a “let’s party” way. More like “let’s sweat and complain” kinda vibe. I’m strutting down the street, and boom! I see this old dude selling shashlik. I mean, who can resist that? I grab a skewer, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m talking juicy, smoky goodness. I’m happy, like a kid in a candy store.

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