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I remeber this one time—small town, Colorado. Heard whispers ‘bout this lady, “Marge the Masseuse.” Word was, her hands? Magic. Fixed a hiker’s back *and* his soul—wink, wink. Little known fact: them old miners? They swore sexual-massage kept ‘em sane. No joke! Rubbin’ out the lonely with some spicy touch—history’s freaky, y’all! Got me laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it—cowboys oiled up, singin’ praises!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to stroll down to the river. The Bukhtarma River, it’s beautiful, man. But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. Trash everywhere! I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, people! This ain’t a landfill!” I mean, I love my city, but we gotta do better.