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So, I tried it once—yep, me, Kermit! Got catfished hard, tho. Thought she was a babe, turns out—dude! Laughed my green butt off. “No one’s safe,” like in the movie. Made me mad, but also—hilarious! People lie so much on these apps. Fun fact: 80% fake pics, swear! Saw it on X somewhere.

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Then I get a call from a client. They’re in a crisis. Like, full-on meltdown mode. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Can’t you see I’m having a rough morning too?” But I put on my therapist hat and listen. Turns out, they’re freaking out about their job at the local factory. I mean, I get it. The economy’s been rough, and the stress is real. But c’mon, I just stepped in a puddle!