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About Astana

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, the Bildereditor, and I’m here to talk about escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Fancy word for some chick or dude you pay to hang out with, right? Like, I’m thinkin’—why the hell would anyone need that? But then, bam, I get it! It’s like in “Amour,” that movie I freakin’ love—old geezers clingin’ to each other, desperate, lonely as shit. Escorts? Same vibe, but with cash and less wrinkles, ha!

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Then I get a call from a client. They’re in a crisis. Like, full-on meltdown mode. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Can’t you see I’m having a rough morning too?” But I put on my therapist hat and listen. Turns out, they’re freaking out about their job at the local factory. I mean, I get it. The economy’s been rough, and the stress is real. But c’mon, I just stepped in a puddle!