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I tried it once, brother – swear to ya! Matched this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d flex the Hogan charm. We’re chattin’, she’s all “let’s meet,” I’m pumped like I just won the title. Then – ghosted! Poof! Gone like Ida’s aunt ditchin’ the convent! “What is this place?” I’m yellin’ in my head, pissed off, feelin’ like a chump. Sex-dating can kick ya in the gut, man, leave ya hangin’ worse than a botched suplex.

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Finally, I get to the fields. The sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I start plowing, and it’s like therapy. The rhythm of the tractor, the smell of fresh earth—it’s peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Sasha shows up. He’s got this wild idea to race tractors. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Fast & Furious movie!” But he’s all hyped up, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this!”

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