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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond. Suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a trip! Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands movin’ like they’re dodgin’ bullets. I’m all about it—relaxes me after chasin’ villains. Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, ya know? “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business”—well, I’m in the chillin’ massage biz now, ha!

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Finally, I get to the fields. The sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I start plowing, and it’s like therapy. The rhythm of the tractor, the smell of fresh earth—it’s peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Sasha shows up. He’s got this wild idea to race tractors. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Fast & Furious movie!” But he’s all hyped up, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this!”

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