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About Aktobe

Hola, precious! Me, Gollum, elevator operator, yesss. Sex-dating? We hates it! Nasty, tricky appses, swiping left, right, ugh! Met this one hobbit—er, human—on Tinder, thought, “Oh, she’s sweet, like Carol.” Y’know, my fave flick, *Carol*, 2015? “There’s nothing wrong with wanting,” she says in it. Pfft, lies! This chick ghosts me after two chats—two! We was fuming, precious, like, what’s the point?

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So, I’m walking down Abay Street, right? Just vibin’, minding my own biz. Suddenly, this stray dog decides I’m its new best friend. Like, dude, I’m flattered, but I’m not ready for this commitment! I’m dodging it like it’s a game of tag. I swear, that pup was relentless. I mean, come on, I just wanted a coffee from that cute little café on the corner.

Significant magnitude 5.3 quake hits 26 km north of Cholpon-Ata, Kyrgyzstan around noon