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About Semey

What gets me goin’ tho – the tease, man! It’s slow, sensual, hands grazin’ spots ya didn’t know could tingle. Happy as a hippie on a bong hit! But here’s the kicker – some dodgy parlors out there, shady vibes, pissed me off big time. Like, don’t ruin my groove with fake crap, ya wankers! Stick to the real deal – consent, skill, proper oils. None of that cheap lotion bollocks.

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So, I rush to the office on Kairbekov. Traffic’s a nightmare. I swear, the drivers here are wild. Like, do they even know what a turn signal is? I’m stuck behind this old Lada that’s going 20 km/h. I’m yelling at my steering wheel, “C’mon, man! We got places to be!”