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Here’s the juice: it’s risky as hell. Cops, creeps, STDs – no capes, no safety nets! One time, my pal Joey – total dumbass – tried hagglin’ with a girl. She pulled a knife! He ran screamin’, “I’m gonna be on TV!” like Harry in the movie. Hilarious, but damn, dude, chill! Lesson: don’t be cheap, idiots.

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I dive in, and it’s like entering another world. The water’s cold, but refreshing. I’m swimming around, checking out the underwater plants. It’s peaceful, ya know? But then, I spot this old tire. Like, who even throws tires in the river? I’m fuming. “Petropavl, clean up your act!”

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