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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’ downtown, late night, headlights bouncin’ off them sketchy corners. Ain’t no fancy apps back in the day, nah, you had to *feel* it out. Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ clues, I’m squintin’ at every alley. “Is that her? Nah, that’s a dude.” Made me mad as hell—wastin’ time, gas, my dang patience! But then—BOOM—there she is, leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a gator’s temper. Happy don’t even cover it, y’all—I’m hollerin’ like a hog at a barbecue.

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Finally, I get to the river. The water’s looking good, but the vibe? Not so much. I suit up, and just as I’m about to dive in, I see this group of kids. They’re throwing rocks, laughing, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of them yells, “Look! A fish!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m the fish!”

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