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But srsly, gets me ragin’ when they overcharge – 50 quid for a rub? Robbery! “You’re not an investment banker!” – I ain’t made of gold, precious! Funniest shit? Mate told me ‘bout this “happy ending” rumor – bollocks, half the time it’s just awkward silence and a sore neck. Surprised me first time, thought it’d be all glam, like Leo snorting cash off a chick, but nah – sticky floor, dodgy towel, reality bites.

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Next, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Abay Street that’s supposed to be cool. I walk in, and it’s like a whole different world. Paintings everywhere, some wild stuff. I see this one piece that looks like a giant spaghetti monster. I’m standing there, trying to figure out if it’s art or just a prank. I laugh out loud, and people stare at me like I’m the weirdo. Whatever, man.

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