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Oh, and get this—some escorts got nicked so much, blokes started callin em “easy pickins.” True story, mate, my cousin lost his in 98, found it stripped in a ditch. Fumin, he was, but what ya gonna do? Shit happens. Still, when they worked, escorts were mint—like that scene, “The FBI’s got nothin on me!” Zoomin past coppers, heart poundin, fuckin epic.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park near the Rudnyy River. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. There’s this group of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but can they not scream like they’re in a horror movie? I’m just trying to enjoy my morning, you know?

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